Lil' Mama Lyrics

A_O_T_O_

- Average cost of raising a child to the age of 18 -- $197,600

- Average annual cost or raising a child -- $11,000

- Average annual cost of living in Washington DC -- $43,000

- Average annual income in US-- $44,000

We appear to be coming up $10,000 short. However, let's multiply the average annual income by two to account for a dual-income family: $88,000. Still a spare $30,000 every year. But wait, don't you want your kids to have a future?

- Average annual cost of college (public) -- $13,000

- Average annual cost of college (private) -- $30,000

Four years of this will run you between $52,000 - $120,000. So save between $3,000 - $6,500 every year.

- Single parents come out $13,000 per child short every year. I don't reccomend it.

- Dual income families have an average of $27,000 to spare. But subtract another $14,000 per child.

- I'd rather save that extra $1,000 (single) to $45,000 (dual income). It'll end up as $18,000 - $810,000 over the course of 18 years. Let's just skip the kids and retire before we're 40.

Trust your mechanic...

T.V. invents a disease you think you have

So you buy our drugs and soon you depend on them

Embedded in your mind, got you coming for more

Again and again and again and again

Gonna rip you off

The magazine says your face doesn't look quite right

Unless you wear our brand new wonder cream tonight

Never look right again unless you grease your skin

Again and again and again and again

Gonna rip you off

Doctor says you need surgery now

You're feeling good 'til the side effects fuck up something else

You're ensnared by the medicine man

Paying out the ass again and again

Gonna rip you off

Trust your mechanic to mend your car

Bring it in to his garage

He tightens and loosens a few spare parts

One thing's fixed, another falls apart

And the rich eat you

And Now, A Joke...

-How do you get a baby out of a blender?

-Nachos

P.S. You're welcome.


*Disclaimer: The author of the above statement does not condone or promote the murder or consumption of babies. He simply finds dead baby jokes hilarious. No babies were harmed in crafting of this joke.*

Internship

I was recently invited via e-mail to join the Washington Internship Program. This program allows students to work with many big companies from the DC area for the low price of $3,400. For ONE summer!? So, let me get this straight. These companies are not only getting a summer's worth of free work out of students, but they're also charging them an amount comparable to an entire semester's tuition for this? What an "opportunity"... It's no wonder how the rich keep getting richer.

The Matrix

Ah, boys will be boys. This is an amusing video I stumbled upon on youtube. It worked on two levels for me; not only did his failed attempt at a Neo impression prove funny, but the video also got me feeling all nostalgic. I miss what the 4th of July meant to me when I was a kid. It used to be about following my pyromaniacal urges and testing the limits of what my parents would let me endanger myself with. Nowadays, the holiday seems more about "patriotism" to me... Somewhere along the line, I lost sight of what this holiday is truly about; irresponsible, potential-fire-hazard filled fun.

Shameless Plug

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It's Pat!

I saw this video on MTV this morning. Initial reaction: err... man or woman!? I've watched the video a few times, and I'm still not sure. So I'll tackle both sides of the issue.

- A note to androgynous men: if you kind of look like a girl already, dark eyeshadow and long hair may not be in your best interests.

- A note to androgynous women: if you already have some masculine features, wearing men's clothing and singing in a deep voice is a big mistake.

I'm not sure which is the case with the lead singer of this band, but I remain quite scared of this androgynous something-or-other. Blurring of gender lines is not something I'm used to in this wonderfully homophobic nation of ours, so I find myself ill-prepared to deal with this situation. I suggest this guy/girl choose one and stick with it. I don't think anyone would be able to prove him/her wrong either way...